One Chance
by bonnielass89
Summary: AU, GSR, what if Grissom had never retired from the lab?
1. Chapter 1

-AU story, based around Sara's video to Grissom in the episode 'Leave Out All The Rest'.

I'm a little nervous to post this story, as I have been away from this site for a while, and not too sure about this story. However, the majority of this story is already written, (although I am open to new ideas) and **will be updated weekly **if people are interested enough in reading the rest of the story after the first chapter.

The first chapter is quite short, but I felt that if I combined chapter one and two, it would be too long...

Thanks for reading and any errors please let me know.

Disclaimer; I don't own CSI and I am not making any profit from this.

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><p>'I thought we could survive anything'<p>

Chapter One

_Sara,_

_You know I have never been one for communicating however I feel it is necessary to reply to your video._

_For me, our relationship came to an end when you made the choice to leave Vegas._

_However, it has obviously been the correct decision as we both are happy and moving on._

_Following the evidence, it would show that perhaps our relationship was not as strong as it seemed, and we can only hope our future relationships are more successful._

_It would be best if we say our goodbyes here._

_Grissom_

"Do you like torturing yourself?"

A voice sprung from behind her, awakening her from the painful memories that the email arose. She quickly slammed her laptop shut before answering,

"Vicki, I'm not torturing myself..." Sara stood up and they began to walk into the kitchen together. "It…it just reassures me that I'm doing the right thing, and shouldn't feel guilty about it." Sara explained.

Handing Sara a glass of milk, they both sat down at a small table in the centre of the room.

"I shouldn't….right?" Sara whispered before taking a gulp of her drink.

Vicki reached across the table to hold Sara's free hand; grasping Sara's attention, "One of these days you'll leave your email open and I'll delete it." Giving her hand a tight squeeze, Vicki spoke softly, "You need to move on."

Wide eyed, Sara shook her head in disbelief while adamantly replying, "You cannot be serious! No way. Been there, done that."

Butting into Sara's quickly forming rant, Vicki reassured, "And he obviously wasn't 'Mr Right' for you. That person will still be out there. You deserve it."

Sara shook her head and replied in a poignant tone, "You couldn't be more wrong. I fell for him the moment I met him, and believe it or not, I know he was 'it' for me." She took a long, reminiscing silence before speaking tenderly, "He had his faults, and we had our problems, but he was the only man I ever loved."

"And who's to say you won't find someone like that again?"

Sara's silence was enough of an answer for Vicki. Vicki had known Sara for more than ten years, their friendship forming as they started their career together as lab techs for San Francisco Police Department. Although Vicki specialised in DNA and Sara in trace, they shared the same lab. Furthermore, being the same age and both workaholics, they instantly clicked. Vicki had also followed Sara's lead by venturing out into field work, enjoying the different surroundings and the puzzle. When Sara had moved to Las Vegas, she herself had stayed in San Francisco, working the dayshift but kept in contact through vacations, phone calls and emails.

Realising the conversation has reached its limit; Vicki swiftly changed the subject; "So what time you heading to work at?"

"Can't wait to get rid of me huh?" Sara joked "but don't worry I'm heading out in ten. Oh, before I forget, are you working this Friday or am I?" After finishing her volunteering abroad, Sara was back working for SFPD lab although part-time, job-sharing full time hours with Vicki.

"I am this week but if you're volunteering…" Vicki spoke optimistically before Sara interrupted with a smile on her face "No no, I've got plans for this Friday."

At this news, Vicki's eyebrows shot up and her blues eyes gleamed "oh really?"

Before Sara could reply a boy with short blond hair and blue eyes came running into the kitchen shouting, "Mom! I can't find my homework anywhere! I must have left it at Dad's house!"

"Jake! Inside voice! If you've woke up Ems…" Vicki spoke sternly to her son. "And you didn't leave your homework at your fathers. Do you not remember finishing it in front of the TV when you came home last night with Aunt Sara?"

Understanding washed over the child's face and his cheeks turned rosy. "Sorry" He turned and looked at Sara. "Are you picking me up from school today or mom?"

"I think we're going to have to print off our schedule and stick it to your forehead" Sara joked and Vicki then repeated for what felt like the one hundredth time,

"Monday and Tuesdays are my days off so I'll collect you. I work Wednesday and Thursday which is when Sara picks you up because she is off. On Friday your dad picks you up and you come back home to me on Sunday."

Suddenly, the sounds of tumbling and banging came from the staircase creating a deafening silence in the kitchen. As the sounds became louder and the object tumbling became nearer, Sara and Vicki both screamed "Emma" before rushing to the staircase. Sara could feel her heart pounding in her chest as worst case scenarios were replaying in her mind.

As they reached the bottom of the steep staircase they were greeted with children's building blocks scattered across the floor, being the obvious origin of the frightening noise. Sara, Vicki and Jake looked up towards to the top of the steps and witnessed a small, curly brown haired infant wearing just a diaper, try to crawl down the stairs with her hands clawing at the steps in front. The harsh landing of the blocks had not withered the determination in this child to get downstairs.

"Emma!" Sara hissed while shooting up the stairs before another tumble occurred featuring a more precious cargo.

The child turned around as she was scooped up into Sara's arms, giving a gummy grin.

"Mama!" Emma squealed with laughter while Sara gave a sigh of relief, and began to walk down the stairs, hugging her child tightly to her chest.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"What a dare-devil!" Jake stated, still in shock at witnessing such a small child so determined.

"I know who she takes that after..." Vicki whispered while Sara silenced her with a piercing scowl.

With Emma in her arms, Sara began to check her child's arms and legs for any sign of any injury, her mind still producing dramatic images and thoughts of what could have happened."How did you get over the safety gate, eh?" Her rhetorical question to her daughter was answered by Jake who had run up the stairs to notice the gate unlocked,

"She must have unlocked it herself! It's wide open!"

At this revelation, Vicki gave her son a questioning glance which was quickly answered;

"I shut it behind me; I swear!" he exclaimed as he rushed back down the stairs.

Sara placed Emma in a wooden high chair and put a bib around her chest, "What am I going to do with you? You're far too inquisitive for your own good Emma, nearly gave me a heart-attack!" Sara spoke softly to her daughter and pinched her button nose lovingly.

Emma stayed silent while her dark eyes followed her mother's every movement; as she washed and cut up strawberries, put them in a plastic bowl and finally placed them on the tray. Emma quickly grabbed as many as she could and shoved them into her mouth, the juice dripping down between the delicate dimple on her chin and onto her bib.

Vicki began to clean Emma's face and handing her one strawberry at a time. Sara lifted her purse and car keys before coming over to Emma and speaking softly, "Mommy needs to go to work, you be a good girl for aunt Vicki and I'll be home at dinner time, okay?"

Emma immediately began to reach out for Sara and whine, "Mama"

Sara's heart began to ache for her daughter crying for her attention and the guilt washed over her. However she quickly put on a strong face and gave a kiss to her daughter's messy brown hair and turned to Jake, "You ready to leave?"

Jake nodded in affirmative, picked up his school rucksack and ran to kiss his mom goodbye before following his aunt Sara down to the car. As the door shut, Vicki stared at the now silent and gloomy Emma and uttered "and then there were two."

oOo

After dinner, Vicki was lounging on the couch in the living area with a glass of wine and a magazine. Jake was up in his room playing his Xbox whilst Sara was bathing Emma. Emma was playing with tube floats; amazed by the water pouring out some and not the other. This innocence and sheer amazement at the slightest object tugged at Sara's heart and she felt so fortunate to be part of this little miracle. As if she could read her mother's mind, Emma turned and gave her mother a massive grin and handed her one of the tubes to play with. "Thank you" Sara replied and began to play with her daughter with the water tubes. Her happy thoughts of being surrounded by this innocence is always ruined by her conscience wondering if she has done the right thing regarding her daughter.

Before her final year in Vegas she defined herself as a strong and independent woman. The more time she spent with Gil, she felt that label disappearing, and surprisingly she didn't object to it; she was happy. When she looks back, she believes this was a key factor in her downfall of leaving Las Vegas. When Warrick died, she was in shock and it awakened her into believing that she must be upfront with Grissom about her wants and plans for the future. When she confided to him, asking him to leave Vegas and join her, she was deeply heartbroken when he rejected the idea and plans for their future together.

On her first week of travelling she decided that she would regain her independence and self-confidence. When she felt like her old self, she decided to face the evidence and actually state, via a video message, that their relationship had ended. It hurt saying goodbye to someone she loved, but he was unable to be there for her or would put her before himself. When she received the email back from him she was surprisingly shocked and that had hurt. It didn't sound like the Gil she knew, had spent time with and it just confirmed what she had always dreaded; he wasn't willing to take the risk. Now with nothing to hinder her plans of moving on, she was shocked to find out she was pregnant, and was in complete denial for the first few months. She kept asking why this had happened, she had never wanted children, did not want to pass on any faulty genes, and did not feel she was emotionally stable to be part of raising a child. Only when she began to have kidney problems as a complication of the pregnancy did she begin to take it seriously.

She confided in the only friend she could trust, Vicki, who was going through a messy divorce and they decided to buy a house together and help each other through their rough patches in life.

At times she found herself dialling Grissom's cell number, wanting to tell him that they were having a child and for him to rush to her side, but, every time she felt a kick or her child move from within her, she had an overwhelming urge of protection and preservation. The most important factor at not informing him was that she knew she was not strong enough to deal with the rejection of her own child from him.

A large splash awoke Sara from her profound thoughts, and she looked back into the dark eyes of her daughter. "Right okay Miss Emma, time to get out and get your jammies on."

Immediately understanding what her mother said, Emma raised her little arms high and Sara quickly lifted her up and wrapped a large fluffy towel around her body. Rubbing her dry, they played a quick game of 'peek-a-boo', ending with Emma rolling around with laughter.

Walking out the en-suite they ended up in their shared bedroom. The room was large and painted purple with white furniture. Emma's crib was near the door, next to a small bookshelf and opposite was a purple rocking chair and a toy box. The carpet was thick and white, comfortable for a child to crawl and play on. At the end of the crib there was a wardrobe which was then followed by a small wooden partition. At this end of the room, there was a double bed, a walk-in wardrobe and a desk. The room was large, but quite crammed with all the furniture. However for Sara and Emma, it was comfortable and homely. Sara sat with Emma in the chair opposite her crib and began to sing softly, soothing her child to sleep.

Her fingers began to trace her daughter's face, hesitating over the dimpled chin and button nose; it was the same as her fathers. These qualities, along with a few of her facial expressions and her little bowed legs reminded her so much of the man she loved, that it hurt. Emma had inherited Sara's colouring and wide smile, but everything else reminded her of Grissom. Emma was also very small and delicate for her age, which instantly triggered her mental image of Betty Grissom, who was also very petite.

She sighed, and placed her sleeping daughter in her cot before sinking into her large bed alone. Her life was at these times lonely and upsetting however every minute spent with her daughter brought her indescribable happiness.

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><p><strong>AN**

Thank you to everyone who left a review, it really made me smile while I was having a bad week! Also thanks to the many people who added this story to an alert, it would be nice to hear from you all too!

This chapter isn't really exciting, just clarifying the situation, so I may post chapter three during the week as well if you are all still interested.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

She became aware of harsh light shining on her face. Instinctively, her arms raised and tried to protect her from the glare; it didnt work. She began to move around but it never helped. Yet another morning awoken by that nosey sun sneaking in from behind her curtain.

Now fully alert, she remembered it was Friday, the day she had an important appointment, and began to get ready for the day. After showering and then dressing in a cream blouse and jeans, she was welcomed to Emma trying to climb out of her crib. She had managed to raise her leg over the bar, and if she had not noticed Emma at that exact moment, she dreaded to think what would be the outcome. She quickly grabbed her and began to get her dressed for the day ahead.

"Your first birthday is in two weeks, and I think we're going to have to get you a big girl's bed because we can't have any accidents happening!" Sara said as she tried to place a clasp in her child's unruly curls.

"What would you like to do for your birthday, eh?" Sara asked Emma whose facial features displayed her deep concentration at comprehending what her mother was asking her.

"We could go to the park and feed the ducks, go to the soft play area, have a party?" Sara voiced her thoughts to see if any sparked interest with her daughter.

"uckies!" Emma shouted out while clapping her hands at the same time. Emma loved going to the park. She loved dipping her feet in the water, playing with the sand and picking nearby flowers. But her favourite was feeding the ducks. Sara would bring a bag of crumpled bread and Emma loved dropping the pieces into the water and watching all the ducks scramble for the food. If there was any bird left out, Emma would immediately start to cry and point at the bird and force Sara to throw further so the bird could get some nourishment.

"Okay, duckies it is. But not today. We have to go see doctor Chan today." Emma was born two months premature and had been seen by her doctor so often that she had recognised the mention of 'doctor Chan' to mean a hospital visit from only five months old.

oOo

The car journey was not long, and they arrived ten minutes early to the appointment which gave Emma time to play with all the toys. As soon as Sara signed in at the reception, Emma demanded; through baby babbling; to be put down near the toys and she immediately began to play.

"Emma Sidle"

At the call of her name, Emma turned to face her mum and exclaimed "me!" with her eyes wide. Sara smiled and walked over to lift her adorable daughter while answering yes. The nurse smiled and guided them into the doctor's room while reaching out to hold Emma's hand.

"Aren't you a little cutie? Look at those little dimpled cheeks! " The nurse addressed Emma who instantly turned her head and hid into her mother's shoulder.

Sara rubbed her daughter's back while explaining to the nurse, "She's very shy around people she doesn't know."

"Aw, what a shame, would love to take her home with me!" The nursed joked and obviously undeterred by Sara providing the information that the child was shy, reached out for Emma's foot, and spoke directly to the infant, "I bet you are a little daddy's girl."

There had been many occasions where the 'd' word was mentioned and Sara had become adept at preventing the conversation from becoming too personal by replying "it's just us" and not making any eye contact.

At this the nurse began to stutter but was saved from any other embarrassments by the arrival of the doctor.

"Hi Sara, hello Emma" Dr Chan spoke in a comforting voice and immediately sat down at her desk and began to flick through her notes while asking Sara how Emma has been since her last visit.

Sara highlighted how she has had no issues, her breathing clear and no signs of abnormal tiredness.

"That's good, very good", the doctor replied and came round to stand in front of Sara and Emma. The doctor lifted Emma over to an examination table and began to look into her eyes, ears, listen to her chest and move all her joints.

Emma, who had been diagnosed from birth with asthma and was used to invading tests, did not mind at all the examination but was glad to be back in her mother's arms and began to play with Sara's hair.

"Her breathing has improved, which is good, but I still want you to continue using her inhaler. But what I'm more concerned about is her hole in the heart." The doctor used the inherent didactic tone while addressing the symptoms of her patient and at the last information; Sara's heart began to thump faster in her chest.

Her child was born early due to symptoms of preeclampsia and weighed only three and a half pounds. She spent the majority of her first month on a ventilator to fight off her recurrent chest infections which highlighted the appearance of a hole in her heart. As this is quite a common symptom for premature babies, Sara instantly began to read every article she could find on the symptom and was pleased that the majority of cases do not require surgery. However at the time, Sara felt so guilty and useless while her baby lay in a little incubator; her heart still aches at the memory of her daughter's first few months.

"It appears in the most recent scan that her ASD condition has gotten larger, indication that the medication has not helped and I do not want to take the risk and would like to do the surgery as soon as possible." The doctor spoke slowly to allow the gravity of the situation to sink in for Sara. Dr Chan noticed Sara hugging her child closer to her chest and felt sorry for the woman who had no one to support or hug her.

"I think your daughter has put on enough weight and her lungs are strong enough to deal with the anaesthesia. It is a fairly common procedure, as you know, but open heart surgery does have it risks, which is why I think you need to inform her father."

At this Sara began to object. She had told Dr Chan in confidence that her relationship was not strong with Emma's father and felt at ease to have a doctor who understood and supported her decision.

"I know, and I agree with the way you have dealt with all your issues so far. You have a good friend who is there for you, but Emma needs all the support and help she can get after the surgery, even if you attempt to explain…"

"I'm not sure. He didn't want involved with my future and I don't think he needs extra weight on his shoulders…he doesn't cope well with emotions." Sara voiced her objections which were running through her head in attempt to silence her doctor. She didn't need this right now when she had just been told about her daughter's necessary but dangerous surgery.

"I'm sorry if you feel pressured, I just want what is best for my patient." replied Dr Chan with a sombre tone before changing the subject. "Right, we need to arrange dates for theatre. I have already looked at when there are free slots and it looks like we can go this upcoming Thursday. I'll get a doctor's note written up for you just now if you need time off your work?"

"Yeah that would be great thanks." Sara spoke as if on auto-pilot; she just kept staring down into the eyes of her child who did not understand the magnitude of the moment. She was so innocent, so precious and Sara hated how many difficulties she had already been through at such a young age.

She then handed Sara over a pack which contained all she needed to know about the details of the procedure and also the time and relevant phone-numbers for her daughter's stay in hospital. Emma immediately began to look inside the contents of the folder while Sara grabbed her purse and stood up with Emma in her arms. Dr Chan also stood and felt inclined to add, "I'm sorry if I was out of order earlier…"

"It's fine" Said Sara stiffly and sharply as she deliberately tried to avoid and forget the conversation.

"Bye Emma, And Sara, please do not hesitate to call me whenever, you have my personal cell number for a reason."

Sara just nodded and walked numbly out of the building and while she began to buckle her daughter into her car seat, tears began to run down her face.

_Why did her daughter have to go through so much? Why did she feel so alone?_

And for the first time in months she began to seriously consider calling Gil and confessing her secret.

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><p><strong>AN:**

Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed or added this story to their favourite stories, I value your opinions! I'm interested in hearing your opinions and thoughts after this chapter regarding the upcoming situation with Emma. Poor baby! I'll upload chapter four this weekend.

Thank you again to everyone who left a review. It makes me want to write more!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Although it was only noon, to Sara it felt as if she had spent all day at the doctor's surgery. Sara had driven home in silence as Emma had fallen asleep, and the quietness was unbearable. She couldn't believe her child was having to get surgery and had genuinely believed that her heart would heal on its own. She was so much stronger than before, so lively and the unconditional love she felt for her scared her. She could not lose her. Every day she did something new that amazed her, which gave an insight to her beautiful personality. Furthermore, she was evidence of her relationship with Grissom; a living, breathing manifestation that she couldn't be more proud of. She was her everything.

She arrived back at the house and lay Emma, who was still sleeping, down on the couch and placed a blanket around her body. She grabbed the information pack given to her by doctor Chan and read through it thoroughly before checking out further information online.

Soon, Vicki was home from work and Sara burst into tears while reiterating everything that had happened that morning. Emma, who had been playing with some of Jake's toy cars on the floor, was shocked to hear her mother cry even though it was so quietly, and began to join in. Sara immediately stood up and lifted her daughter, rubbing her back as she sat back down on the couch.

"Everything will be fine Sara; Emma has gone through so much already. She's a little fighter, aren't you?" said Vicki reassuringly while stroking Emma's hair.

"I just cannot lose her." Sara whispered and tightened her hold on Emma who was sitting on her lap with her head snuggling into her chest.

"And you won't." Vicki stated adamantly and then spoke directly to Emma, "Why don't we have a girls' night tonight with my favourite little princess?"

"ake?" Emma was unable to correctly pronounce 'Jake' but it was obvious to Vicki she was asking where Jake was. It just made Sara smile at how smart her little girl was at not only understanding what everyone was saying but was able to speak well for her age and had comprehended that a girls' night did not include Jake.

"No baby, Jake's with his daddy this weekend" said Vicki and pinched Emma's nose lovingly.

"Da?" said a perplexed Emma while Sara froze; unable to confront this subject for the second time today.

Noticing Sara's breath hitching, Vicki knew that Emma would not leave the subject alone unless she got her explanation and decided to take the lead.

"Where's your mommy?" Vicki asked, which Emma laughed and turned around to give Sara a big hug while shouting 'mommy!'

"Yes that's right. And who is Jake's mommy?"

At this, Emma lunged for Vicki and gave her a hug. Vicki returned her cuddle while nodded in affirmative.

"Aren't you a clever girl? Well, Jake has a mommy and a daddy. And when he is not with us, he is with his daddy."

At this new information, Emma became silent, with her eyebrows scrunched in deep concentration. She looked up at her mother for help, as Sara always took time at explaining anything that was puzzling.

"Everyone has a daddy, and your daddy lives far away." Said Sara and rubbed her daughter's cheek.

At this clarification, Emma seemed content and launched out of her mother's arms aiming for the floor. Sara placed her back on the rug where she began to play with Jake's toys on the floor again.

"Well that went down well, don't you think?" Vicki asked Sara.

"I don't know." Sara's eyes were glued to her daughter playing.

"What do you mean? You had dreaded mentioning her having a father since before she was born and she never asked you any questions. It couldn't have gone down better." Said Vicki perplexed at Sara's reaction.

"I just keep going over the conversation with Dr Chan today, and keep thinking if I should call him."

"She had no right to interfere with your business. She knows that I'm there for Emma as if she was my own daughter and Jake's like her big brother. She has support." Vicki sighed in frustration.

"I know. It's just I trust Chan with every decision she has made so far with Emma, and I can't help but wonder why she had brought this up now." said Sara.

"Could you deal with seeing Gil again? Explaining to him? Dealing with his rejection or anger? He could very well have another relationship for all we know" Vicki asked.

"I don't know. You know I've kept in contact with a few of the guys from Vegas, and they say he's changed. Maybe, he'd be a good influence on Emma. I know for a fact she would love to see and learn about his bugs. She loves all animals. But I just keep thinking, what if?"

"What if what?" Vicki replied.

"What if something goes wrong next week, and Emma and Gil had never met?" Sara whispered.

"Stop being so negative Sara! Emma has been through so much and look at how well she is now. Do you remember how small she was when she was born? How she had infection after infection? Hell, you were told she would be lucky to make it through the night once! And that hasn't hindered her at all. Sure she's a little on the small size for her age, but she is as brighter than toddlers double her age."

"I just want the best for her. It's going to be so hard for her going through the surgery, what if she had someone new to also care for her and give her comfort?" Sara asked.

Vicki sighed. She herself didn't know what advice to give to her friend. Vicki had been through a nasty divorce and her ex was a bastard at times however her son loved him and she, like any other mother, just wanted him to be happy. Maybe Emma would gain from a good father figure in her life, but what if he's not? The rejection will just send Sara back into the same state she arrived in San Fran in. Or, what's worse, what if he takes Sara to court, tries to get custody of Emma, which alone would kill Sara.

"Well, instead of going straight to Gil, why don't you tell Greg? You email him at least once a week and never discuss Emma but I'm pretty sure he'd be happy to meet her. Plus, he could ask Grissom hypothetically what he would do if he had a daughter to see his reaction or something…" Vicki was just voicing her thoughts to Sara to provide some sort of help.

At the mention of Greg, Sara's eyes widened, and her face lightened with the information she needed to hear. Instead of explaining to Vicki, she grabbed her laptop and opened her emails.

_Greg,_

_I don't know where to start, but what I'm about to tell you is firstly, not a joke and secondly, the hardest thing I've had to withhold telling you. _

_On March 23__rd__ last year, my little girl was born. As you know, I had never planned on being a mother but it has been the best thing I have ever done. Emma is just amazing. She is so smart, so funny and just loves learning new things. _

_She was born premature, and has had a lot of health issues pertaining to her birth. On Thursday, she is going to get open heart surgery and, this has been the source of letting you know. It would be great for you to meet her…I just know she'll love you. _

_I'm so sorry for not telling you earlier, but believe it or not, I have been doing what I feel is best for Emma. She is such a happy child, and could not deal with her being hurt or rejected by the people that should be there for her._

_Please forgive me. Your friend,_

_Sara._

Within ten minutes of the email being sent, Sara's cell phone was ringing. Accepting the incoming call, she answered, "Hi Greg".

* * *

><p><strong><span>AN:**

In this chapter mentions to Emma that 'everyone' has a dad. I know that is untrue but I used that wording to keep things simple. Sorry if I offended anyone.

I loved **all** your thoughts on the last chapter. It made me want to go back and edit the first ten chapters of the story but I couldn't as the rest of the chapters would not make sense. I hope you are not too disappointed with this chapter and the way it is going. I can assure you that there is GSR in this story. If you all aren't too upset that Grissom has not appeared yet, then I'll update during the week if you want!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Friday night, Sara lay in her bed and had no regrets after sharing her secret with Greg. In fact, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. So when Greg had told her he was flying out the next day, she knew she had made the correct choice.

"Sara!" Greg had shouted when caught sight of Sara at the arrivals area at the airport. She turned towards him and immediately enveloped him into a large hug.

"It's been too long…" Greg said as he pulled back and looked down towards the child in the car seat which was at Sara's feet.

"Oh Sara, She's beautiful!" Greg was stunned yet his face had a permanent smile. "I can't believe you have a kid!" He joked and looked back up at Sara.

"I know. Sometimes I wake up to her crying and wonder whose baby she is!" Sara laughed and bent down to pick up the car seat. "She's sleeping just now, but I'm sure she'll wake up soon. You got your luggage?"

"I have." said Greg with an impish grin.

"Okay, let's go" Sara smiled and was so pleased that Greg had travelled to see her.

oOo

"Say Uncle Greg" Greg spoke from behind a large pink teddy bear.

"eee" said Emma and squealed with laughter.

After waking up with a strange man's face hanging over her while she lay in her car seat, Emma had immediately started to cry and shout for her 'mama'. It took her a few hours, but Greg had slowly but surely won her over and she was currently climbing over him as he lay on the floor, pulling at his ears, hair, nose.

"Ow missy!" He then began to tickle her stomach and lifted her above him as if she was flying in the air.

"Careful Greg, the last time we did that, she puked all over me." Sara called from the kitchen area.

"A little puke doesn't hurt anyone does it?" he asked Emma however he was obviously deterred as he brought her down and sat her on his knees.

Sara then came into the room and sat down next to him on the floor as they leaned against the couch, and Emma immediately climbed over to stand on top of her mother's thighs.

Sara held onto Emma's waist as she grabbed and played with her mother's hair while also bending her knees up and down as if she was dancing.

"You're having fun aren't you?" Sara asked her daughter and Emma just laughed.

Greg just watched this interaction between mother and daughter with amazement, "Sara she's amazing." Greg said rapturously and Sara just smiled.

oOo

An hour later, Vicki had arrived home from her date. After a quick introduction to Greg, they all began to chat generally and Sara was glad that Greg and Vicki were getting on well. Sitting next to Greg, listening to his stories and hearing him laugh, made her realise how much she had missed her good friend. She was so happy he was here with her and had travelled at such short notice to come and visit her daughter who was currently cuddled into her mother, half asleep.

"So I don't really need to ask who her father is" Greg finally got the courage to voice what he had thought as soon as he saw her.

"Is it that obvious?" Sara raised one eyebrow and looked down at her daughter who had now fallen asleep.

"Well, she has your colouring, but there's just something so….Grissom about her! The cute little dimpled chin is also there." After a look from Sara, Greg added, "Not that I think Grissom's chin is cute."

Sara just laughed.

"I'm just gonna lie her down and I'll be back in a sec." Sara stood with Emma cradled in her arms.

Greg stood up and began to follow Sara out of the room. Looking at Greg silently, he answered her thoughts, "I want to tuck her in too."

Sara gave a soft smile and a small nod of understanding and guided him to her bedroom.

In her crib, Greg began to stroke the child's cherub cheeks while Sara folded away some of Emma's clothes.

"So, I take it Grissom doesn't know about her?" Greg asked and Sara just shot him a look for his answer.

"He changed a lot when you left, but he hasn't been the same since Warrick died." He paused to see if Sara was listening before continuing. "Sometimes, he doesn't answer dispatch and Catherine she said…" At this Greg cut off sharply.

"Said what?" Sara immediately asked.

"It doesn't matter" Greg shook his head.

At this Sara stopped what she was doing and turned to face Greg who was heading out of the bedroom.

"It does. Tell me."

"He hadn't been answering his door when we'd go to the house so Catherine had had enough and followed him home from the lab…He went to Lady Heathers. " Greg spoke so fast as if the words were burning his mouth.

Sara just stared back at Greg; no words could describe how she felt. Heather was the one woman who made Sara inadequate for Gil and she truly felt threatened by her friendship towards Gil. Sara was disgusted at Lady Heather's profession and it pained her to know that Grissom, the man she trusted and loved, had spent the night with her. Learning that Gil was living there, or at the very least had stayed there since their breakup only diminished the guilt she feels for separating Emma and Gil.

"That's not to say he goes there all the time or lives there. Catherine might have just caught him…" Greg stuttered as he noticed the solemn look on his friend's face.

"It doesn't matter Greg. He made his choice, our relationship ended and we both moved on. I have Emma to worry about now. What he does is of no concern to me."

"As much as I think that you're too good for him…Don't you think that if he knew you were pregnant, that you have a child together he'd come after you?" Greg asked.

"I wonder that everyday Greg; what my life would be like if he knew and wanted to be with me. But, I made the choice to protect my child from anyone who could hurt her, even emotionally. Grissom's rejection is the worst pain. You know he has that way of making you feel so incompetent …"

"I know, but we all have our faults. And Warrick, he thought of Grissom as a father. He taught us all so much…"

"A child needs unconditional love and emotions that are not hidden away. Gil can be emotionally obtuse, and he made it quite clear early on in our relationship that he never wanted kids." said Sara.

"You never wanted kids either. You were terrified of them Sara! And now, you're a wonderful mother. People change when the circumstances allow for it to happen. I think you should try. Have you contacted him at all?"

At this question, Sara told Greg, who was sleeping in Jake's room for the time being, to wait there as she brought into the room her laptop.

She allowed him to watch the video message she sent, and then read the reply email she got.

"That doesn't sound like Grissom…Did you reply back?"

"The week after Emma was born, she had this real bad chest infection and the doctors didn't think she would make it…I sent him an email, asking him if there was a chance at all for us to share our futures together, that we had been through too much for it to end so quickly. But he never replied." Sara explained sadly, while going into her sent items and bringing up the email.

"Even although Grissom was moping around the lab, working doubles, being so grouchy…I can't believe Grissom would do this. It's not like him at all." Greg shook his head.

"Like you said, he's changed" Sara spoke softly while turning her laptop off.

"What if…" Greg began to speak and stopped.

"What?"

"It doesn't matter. I just can't believe Grissom, our Grissom would do this." Greg shook his head in disbelief.

"As Grissom always said, the evidence doesn't lie." At this, Sara yawned, and told him she was going to bed.

Greg however couldn't believe his boss would treat Sara or any other human being in this way, and didn't know how he was going to keep from holding in his anger the next time he saw him. He was a fool to give up on Sara and then miss out on his daughter's life. He could tell Sara was unhappy, and was determined to fix this. Emma needed a caring father, and Sara needed someone to love her. As Sara's friend, he did think she was too good for Grissom, but knew that Sara wouldn't be truly happy without anyone else and made it his duty to get this family back together.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

For anyone who is worried that in this story Greg is going to take Grissom's place as a father figure in Emma's life, it is not going to happen. I believe that if you rush into things you end up making things worse. With Sara confiding in Greg, she can get the strength to then tell Grissom. Greg also, as you can see, so far wants to get them back together...Baby steps!

Thanks again to everyone who left a review for the last chapter. You are all too kind and I am very grateful. I just love hearing your thoughts and opinions.

There are also so many people who have taken the time to add this story to their story alert; I would love to hear your opinion of the story too, even if it is just a few words.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

It was soon Wednesday, and Emma had to stay the night before her surgery in hospital for observation. Sara had brought a bag full of Emma's toys, a few books and cuddly bears to make her daughter's stay more pleasant. Greg had accompanied her to the hospital and hadn't left her side while they sat in the children's play area and watched Emma interact with the other infants.

One little boy was keen to play with Emma however this was not reciprocated. Emma was bossing him around, squawking at him when he did not move the building blocks in the correct position that she was pointing to. With Emma, even at such a young age, perfection was everything.

"Emma, play nicely" Sara warned, to which Emma just looked at her innocently then turned around and carried on looking at the boy as if he was a nuisance.

Greg just laughed, and couldn't decide whether this was a trait belonging to Sara or Grissom.

Shortly, it seemed as if Emma had had enough, as she stood up and leaned against the play kitchen. Sara, who began to wonder if this is where her daughter would take her first steps, stood near her with her arms wide; coaxing her to walk. Instead, Emma just fell back down and raised her arms to her mum and yawned.

Sara lifted her up and turned to Greg, "I'm going to take her back to the room to read to her… hopefully she'll get a few hours' sleep before Jake and Vicki come to visit."

Greg nodded and followed her out of the room. "I'm going to head down to the cafeteria, do you want something brought up?" he asked.

"Please" Sara replied and went the room Emma was occupying room during her stay at the hospital. Reluctant to place Emma in the cot provided, she sat on the large armchair in the corner of the room, gave her daughter her pacifier and cuddled her daughter. Sara stroked the side of Emma's face and soon she had drifted off to sleep.

oOo

"Jake! Stop running!" could be heard from the corridor outside the hospital room from an exasperated Vicki.

Sara chuckled and looked at Emma who sitting up in her cot chewing on a teething ring.

A second Later, Jake and an exhausted looking Vicki entered the room.

Immediately Jake ran over to Emma, and gave her the balloon he was holding, "Hi Ems, look what I've got for you!"

It was a massive pink balloon which spelled out her name. Emma was staring in wonder at the balloon floating in the air and tried to grab for it. Greg pretended that the balloon had hit his head and exaggerated a fall. At this drama, Emma had rolled to the side in laughter and both Sara and Vicki were laughing too.

It was a good atmosphere for everyone, calming the nerves and apprehension of the surgery that was planned for the next day.

While Jake was playing with Emma, and Vicki and Sara were talking about work, Greg's phone suddenly rang and without stepping out into the less noisy hallway, he answered,

"Nick! Hi" said Greg and pressed a finger to his other ear to block the background noise.

"_Greggo! Short notice on the vacation, we're all pulling a double so I hope you're having a good time…what's up?" _

Greg laughed nervously which went unnoticed by Sara who was now talking to a nurse who came into the room to examine Emma.

"I'm just visiting an old friend back in California. How are things back at the lab?" Greg asked.

As the nurse interrupted Emma from playing with Jake, she began to whine and cry in distress. The nurse, ignoring the screams and speaking no words of comfort to the infant, took Emma's little t-shirt off while she screamed for her 'mama'.

"_Are you babysitting a child?" Nick replied._

Greg stuttered to find an answer while Sara passed by Greg speaking softly out to Emma, "Don't worry baby"

"_Hold up…is that __**Sara **__I hear!" Nick choked astonishingly. _

"Look I gotta go, I'll call you later." Greg rushed and as soon as the phone call was over he exhaled loudly.

He looked towards Sara who was oblivious to what had just happened and was trying to comfort her daughter as Vicki demanded a different nurse.

Waiting until everything had settled down and Emma was back to playing, he then divulged the earlier conversation he had had with Nick.

"Why can't you just say it wasn't Sara he heard?" Vicki questioned.

Sara sighed. "Nick knows us too well. I will not have Greg lie for me anyway."

"We don't have to; it's no big deal. I'll just tell him I decided to go on a vacation to visit you." Greg stated.

"And if he decides to come out and visit?" Vicki asked.

"He can. I have nothing to hide…at least from him." Sara replied.

* * *

><p>Confusion marred Nick's face and as soon as he walked into the break room the ever astute Catherine asked what was wrong.<p>

"I just was on the phone to Greg there…he's visiting Sara" Nick said incredulously.

"Sara? As in…" Catherine's eyebrows raised and her voice trailed off.

"Yes our Sara." Nick provided.

"Wow. Did you speak to her?"

"I couldn't really hear much as there was some kid crying...then I heard Sara speak to the child and then Greg hung up" Nick shrugged.

"That's weird" Catherine stated.

"What's weird?"

Grissom answered as he walked into the break room and headed straight for the coffee machine.

"Uh nothing" Nick spoke but was interrupted by Catherine who took the opportunity to gather information that she has been suspicious of for over a year.

"Nick's just off the phone to Greg. And Sara" Catherine announced.

Although Grissom's back was to Catherine and Nick, they noticed how he froze then took a deep breath.

Seeing Gil visibly react to the mention of his ex-lover's name, Catherine felt sorry for him. He was over fifty years old, with no wife or children and involved with a dominatrix who is destined to break his heart.

"That's nice" said Grissom stiffly as he turned around and joined his team members who were sitting at the table.

Catherine and Nick exchanged glances, hesitant about whether to continue with the delicate subject.

However Grissom took the lead to change the subject and they began to discuss their case that they were working, and once finished Grissom went back to his office alone.

_Sara._

Just the mention of her name opened the floodgate of memories. He pressed the bridge of his nose tightly warning off the myriad of emotions threatening to overflow and consume him.

He wonders often, mostly after a difficult case, about what his life would be like if he had gone with her. He is certain that he would have married her at the first chance he got. _Quiet ceremony in the rainforest? Or on the beach? Her wearing a light sundress, a flower in her wavy locks and sun-kissed skin…._

Lost in his thoughts, he often forgets the reasons why he did not accompany her, and it brings a stabbing pain to his chest. After promising to never leave him she did. And she would do it again. He couldn't take the risk to give her his heart fully and watch it be destroyed as she left him.

Why couldn't she stay in their home together? With Hank? The answer was obvious…it wasn't enough for her. And it would never be.

With the sadness engulfing him for the first time in months, he decided to clock out of work and head straight home….To Heather.

* * *

><p><strong><span>AN:**

I updated earlier than usual because I am so grateful for all your reviews and I hope you don't hate me too much after the end of this chapter!

In the next chapter or so we will get more clarity over what has been going on with Grissom. Will post chapter seven on Wednesday or sooner...


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven 

Thursday morning arrived far too quickly and the nurse woke Sara up early in the morning to let her know that they were prepping her daughter for the surgery. Dr Chan then came into the room and explained the procedure step by step while Sara fidgeted on her chair beside the cot.

"I am sure you have read everything you can find about the surgery. It is usually a fairly uncomplicated operation, however there are risks which I need you to be aware of." Dr Chan spoke steadily.

"Yes I know. I read the information you gave me, it was really helpful." Sara nodded.

"But it doesn't do anything to stop the nerves does it." Dr Chan said sympathetically.

"No not at all" Sara murmured.

"Do you have anyone here with you? Your friend? Emma's father?" Dr Chan asked quickly.

Greg would arrive here late morning and Vicki had told her that she would be there by the time Emma is out of surgery. Sara knew that if Dr Chan saw Greg she would assume he was the father and she could not be bothered with explaining that he was just another close friend. "They'll be here for her coming out of surgery I hope."

The doctor looked surprised but nodded in agreement and left the room to scrub in for Emma's surgery.

Sara looked down at her daughter who had awoken to the nurses sticking the EKG electrodes to her chest. She immediately started to cry for Sara who made sure she lay still and calmed her down by brushing her hair away from her face and speaking words of comfort. She was soon silent, enjoying her mother speaking words of comfort to her while ignoring everything else that was happening around them. However this changed and she started to scream when the IVs were inserted into her veins. It was painful for Sara to watch; her child being poked and prodded; but knew it was necessary for Emma to get well. Of course, Emma did not understand what was happening and was reaching out for her mother to hold her, protect her and take her away from all this pain.

Emma was given medication to calm her and Sara noticed the immediate affects. Instead of moving around trying to reach out of the crib and be held by her mother, she was just lying still and took in the new surroundings as she was pushed in her cot down to surgery. Sara held onto the side of the bed, while stroking her daughter's little leg. As they reached the restricted area, Sara had to hold back the tears in her eyes. Looking down at her baby, she gave her a kiss on her forehead and then watched the nurses push her through the doors until they closed and she was out of sight. Standing alone in the hallway, facing the door, Sara wrapped her arms around her stomach and let the tears run down her face. It was now a waiting game and Sara was anything but patient.

oOo

An hour into the surgery Greg arrived and met Sara in the waiting room. To Sara, it felt as if six hours had passed and she sat still while biting her nails. Greg stood at the entrance to the waiting area for a moment; watching Sara stare anxiously at the clock on the wall. He sighed before taking his first step into the room and sitting down next to her.

"I didn't know you bit your nails." Greg spoke softly to her while handing her a cup of coffee.

"I don't." Sara spoke in monotone and took a drink of her coffee.

Greg reached out for her free hand and squeezed it. At this Sara turned and looked up to his face, "Thank you for being here" and gave a weak smile.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else." Greg replied and gave a slight shrug. "How long does the surgery last?"

"They said it usually takes around four hours….So around three hours still left to go" Sara sighed.

"And then that will be her." Greg said optimistically.

"I hope so. The surgery statistically seems to be quite successful, and she'll only need annual check-ups instead of monthly." Sara began to imagine her daughter in the future. Would she like sports? Science? Bugs?

_Grissom._

She missed him, not just as the father of her child, the love of her life, but even as her boss. Just the knowledge that his presence was near, getting to see him every day, was comforting; even if he was just her boss. But knowing that he didn't want to have a future with her, couldn't leave his job for her, emphasised how she couldn't trust him with her child. Sara's thoughts then turned to Lady Heather, whom Greg said he was now with. Looking back, Heather was a part of Grissom's life for nearly as long as she was and it was obvious they had chemistry. Her lifestyle though made Sara feel sick, and she felt even worse knowing that Grissom was probably a part of it too. He was adamant he had never paid for sex, and that sex without love made him sad. So he had to love her, to be with her. But she knew him and he was too old to fool around with someone. He wouldn't risk his career for her but he would risk his reputation to be with a dominatrix? It didn't add up.

She sighed out of frustration.

She turned to look at Greg who was texting someone on his cell phone. Feeling eyes on him, he looked up and said to Sara, "Nick".

Sara nodded and continued to watch him.

"What time is your flight tomorrow?" Sara asked trying to clear her mind of the thoughts of Grissom, Heather and her child having open heart surgery.

"Not until 10pm, so I'll stay here with you for the majority of the day" Greg said as he finished off sending his message and then put his cell phone away. "Do you think you'll ever come back to Vegas?" Greg questioned.

"To live?" Sara looked back up at him.

"Yeah" Greg nodded.

Sara paused before replying, "No idea. It would be kind of awkward with Grissom don't you think?"

"I think you should move back. Let him see what he's missing out on, especially with Emma. " Greg stated.

"To be honest, I don't think I'm strong enough to see him with Lady Heather. Or watch him reject my child, because of his insecurities." Sara shook her head sadly.

Greg shook his head. "Sara I don't think he will. You should have seen him mope around the lab for months after you left. He does love you, in his own way, and who couldn't love Emma?"

"In his own way; yes. His way of pushing you away but holding onto that one piece so you can't let go…it is not healthy. And I don't want it for Emma. The only person I feel sorry for is Emma. She doesn't have her father." Sara paused, "And then there's Betty." Then let out a large sigh filled with guilt.

"Betty?" Greg looked confused.

"Gil's mother." Sara explained. "She would just love Emma…." Sara shook her head. "How did it become so complicated?" Sara sighed with frustration.

"Sara, just call him. Come back to Vegas." Greg pleaded.

His answer was silence as Sara lowered her head and looked down at her lap.

oOo

Four hours had gone by and at no news on how Emma was, Sara began to get agitated.

Each time the door opened, or when the doctor came to speak to other families, Sara felt as if she was in some sort of purgatory.

It was then she began to wonder if this is how Gil felt, waiting on her to be found after her kidnapping. She had never thought about what he had gone through until now, and felt even guiltier. The nerves, nausea, and anxiety of what he had probably gone through had never entered Sara's head once she was found. He had taken two weeks off his work to care for her, be by her side and she repaid him by leaving him a few months later.

_How selfish. It's my entire fault. Gil. Emma._

"I'm going to call him" Sara announced to Greg who looked shocked as he watched her dial Grissom's cell phone number from memory.

Each ring of the waiting tone echoed with Sara's fast beating heart.

"Grissom" He spoke as he picked up.

Sara froze, listening to his voice for the first time in more than a year. She took a deep breath that could be heard down the phone and said in a caring voice "Gil"

Out the corner of her eye Sara noticed a nurse walk into the waiting area and before Grissom could reply, 'Emma Sidle' was called out and she hung up.

* * *

><p>AN:

Thanks for the reviews for the previous chapter! I'll update with chapter eight at the weekend. I hope to hear all of your opinions on this chapter... :)


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

"Are you the parent or guardian of Emma Sidle?" a small blonde nurse asked while avoiding eye contact by looking down at her clipboard.

Sara immediately suspicious spoke with urgency, "Yes. Is everything okay?"

"Why don't you follow me, Dr Chan is just in the consultation room." The nurse said completely oblivious to Sara's anxiety.

Greg, understanding something was going on, walked over to Sara, and held her hand as they followed the nurse into another room.

Dr Chan was standing in the room waiting for Sara to arrive. Before she could speak Sara asked "Where is Emma? Is everything okay?"

"She is just in recovery just now and then she'll be brought back up to her room." The doctor stated.

"So everything went well then?" Sara questioned.

"When we began the surgery we found out that she had not one hole but two, which is why the surgery took longer than normal. They are both fixed and I am glad we did this procedure now rather than later. She's a very lucky little girl." The doctor smiled.

Sara gave a sigh of relief and hugged Greg. Quickly releasing him she asked, "Can I go see her now?"

"The nurse will take you to her room. I must warn you Sara that Emma has had a very dangerous surgery so there are a lot of machines surrounding her, and she is still in a delicate situation. The first twenty-four hours are crucial in order to see if the surgery has been successful and if there are any side effects. As you are aware already, pericarditis is common after the procedure and we will be monitoring her very closely."

Sara just nodded. All that mattered at that moment was that her daughter had made it through the surgery and it has fixed the hole in her heart which had plagued her since birth. Additionally, the knowledge that the condition was worse than suspected made Sara so grateful for a doctor who took the risk and saved her most precious and most loved human being in her life.

Thanking her doctor once again, she left with Greg and the nurse to see her little girl.

While Sara and Greg scrubbed in in order to be able to visit Emma, they noticed Vicki wander the corridor looking for them.

"Vics" Sara shouted to grab her attention.

Vicki turned around and Sara watched her sigh with relief before walking briskly over to meet her. Vicki greeted her with a tight hug as if to pass on her strength to her friend. As she pulled back she looked at Sara, "How did it go?"

Sara smiled hesitantly and replied, "So far successful, I'm just going to see her just now, do you want to come?"

"Of course!" Vicki spoke ecstatically and greeted Greg with a quick hello which was reciprocated.

As they opened the doors to the ward, Sara felt her nerves reappear. As she walked down the hallway and automatically looked in the windows of other rooms, she noticed the equipment surrounding all the patients. It was daunting and unnerving. She had worked so many cases as a CSI where death was imminent and the victims were kept alive only for the families' sake on machines like the ones she was seeing. Shaking the thoughts out of her head she focused on what was in front of her. She noticed the nurse standing in front of one door and knew her daughter was behind it. Deliberately not looking into the window first, she asked the nurse when Emma would wake.

"We tend to keep them sedated for a while after open heart surgery due to the breathing apparatus; until she is able to breathe safely on her own. However it's helpful to talk to her as normal." The nurse then became aware of the people behind Sara. "I'm sorry but we only allowed one adult in at a time to avoid the risk of infection."

Sara turned to look at her friends who nodded in understanding and said they would watch from the window. Sara nodded in confirmation and then turned to the nurse to say thank you. She took a deep breath before going into the specialised Cardiovascular ICU room where her daughter lay. Looking at the cot in the centre of the room; Sara's heart broke. There were machines surround Emma that were masking her from sight. Tubes were attached all over her body, and the noises from the machines heightened the eeriness of the sterile room. She looked so small and so broken that Sara could do nothing but cry and rush to stand next to her daughter's bed to look on helplessly. "Oh Emma…" Sara cried while trying to touch a part of her that wasn't attached to wires or tubes. Her mouth was covered with a large tube and her chest was covered with a thick white bandage.

She stroked a side of Emma's forearm while trying to hold back her tears. Looking down at her child, she forgot everything that the doctor had just told her, that she had fixed her life threatening condition, and instead saw a sick and vulnerable baby.

"My little warrior…so you are" Sara spoke softly. "We'll get you through this, and before you know it this will all just be a bad dream…When you're out of here we'll go to the park, and you can feed the ducks with as much bread as you like. Then we'll get practicing on your walking and before you know it you'll be racing with Jake… Maybe we could go a little vacation to a beach when I get some time off? You mean so much to me Emma. I love you so much that it hurts and I wish I could do something to help you just now. But we'll get you through it…"

As she spoke softly to her child, Greg and Vicki looked on helplessly from the window outside the room. They both felt so sorry for Sara having to go through this alone and also wished that Emma didn't have to go through so much at such a young age.

While the tears ran down Vicki's face freely, Greg coughed to try and hold in his emotions. He turned to Vicki and asked her if she wanted to sit down in the chairs opposite the room for the time being. Vicki just nodded and followed him.

After a few minutes of silence, Vicki was interested to know about his opinions on Sara and Gil's relationship.

"What do you think about this whole situation with Sara and Gil?" Vicki stated.

Greg, shocked by a voice breaking the silence of the hallway, paused before speaking. "I know that Sara loved him with all her heart. And Grissom, although he could be such an ass to her at times, he did love her, and still does….I'm sure of it."

"He seems like an ass to me to be frank."

"He's just Grissom. After a while of working with him you begin to understand he can be hurtful but it is really a sign that he does care…You should have seen him when Sara was kidnapped…" Greg withered towards the end as he began to remember that perilous time.

"You know when Sara first arrived here she came to me depressed and knocked up. And everything came back to this 'Gil Grissom'. I was going through a nasty divorce so I was instinctively anti male, and she could do nothing but cry about how much she loved him; blah blah blah….If he was 'the one' for her then why did he send those emails? Why didn't he come after her? He hurt her so much it that was painful to watch. She had to go through a painful pregnancy all by herself…" Vicki spoke rapidly as if to defend her stance.

"Look I don't know everything about their relationship, but I do know that it was unconventional, which is what both of their personalities are. And Grissom, the fact he was in a relationship with Sara, a co-worker, risking his job says A LOT about how much he cared for her." He paused, "I don't know what to make of that email. It doesn't sound like Grissom at all and if it was him, he didn't mean anything of it and was just trying to make her move on. Or someone else wrote it."

"And who would do that?" Vicki questioned.

"I can only think of one person who threatened their relationship enough to blind Grissom; Lady Heather."

"Who?" asked Vicki.

"She's a dominatrix or was...Not too sure. What I do know is he's been staying at her house." As if a light bulb went off in his head he continued, "And that would give her access to his computer!"

"A dominatrix? Are you kidding me?" Vicki stressed.

"Hey it's Vegas, but he isn't that sort of guy…well I don't think so. Sure he likes weird things but that's just Grissom…I hope so anyway…" Greg began to trail into a territory of discussing his boss that was uncomfortable.

Vicki could do nothing but give an incredulous laugh. Allowing the information to sink in, she then began to weigh out their options.

"Look, when you go back to Vegas, find out if he sent those emails. I won't let Sara go back to a guy who will treat her like crap but if he has as much in common as Sara says they do then it seems to me that they're both just too damn stubborn" Vicki concluded.

Greg just nodded in agreement and just hoped he could work this out for Sara. She did not deserve all this bad luck that was plaguing her and as a friend, he was determined to fix it.

Knowing that he would need to leave for the airport soon, Vicki asked if he needed a lift back to her house to pick up his bags and she would drop him off at the airport. "I'll come back to check on Sara after I've dropped you off." She finished with.

"That would be great thanks." Greg appreciated and as they left a message with a nurse for Sara, they also exchanged cell numbers and emails.

"We need to keep each other updated, daily. No telling Sara about this just yet. Right?" Vicki announced as they walked out of the hospital.

"Yes sir!" Greg joked.

* * *

><p>AN:

Thanks again for all your wonderful reviews! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Chapter nine is centered around Vegas, and we'll find out more about what is happening to Grissom. Unfortunately, the next update will not be until the 20th July as that is the day I come back from my holiday. Hopefully it won't be too long for you all to wait...


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

As the flight journey took less than two hours, Greg arrived in Vegas just before his shift was about to start. Instead of going home and resting after being out of his routine of sleeping during the day and being awake at night, he wanted to go straight to work. He knew he would be unable to sleep just now as his constant thoughts were of Emma, Grissom and Sara. He was so happy that Sara had confided in him, and that he had gotten a chance to meet and bond with Emma however the burden of this information was intense. Not to mention the worry surrounding Emma's health. He just knew he had to fix the situation surrounding this family but didn't know where to start.

After collecting his car from the airport's parking lot he headed straight for lab with his mind conflicted whether he should share the truth surrounding his trip with Nick and Catherine. He knew he couldn't tell Grissom, especially because he was still unsure if it was truly he who had sent that devastating email to Sara.

Walking through the lab, he headed straight for the break room and noticed Catherine and Nick sitting looking at a magazine on the table together.

Knowing that someone had just entered the room Catherine looked up and seemed rather surprised to see Greg there, "Well hello there Mr Sanders" Catherine spoke with a sultry tone to her voice.

"Good evening to you too Ms Willows" Greg joked back.

"So how was your time off Greggo?" Nick joined the conversation as Greg took a seat at the large glass table.

Taking a noticeable pause before replying, Greg spoke confidently, "It was good, a necessary trip."

Before he had even finished speaking, Catherine was asking where he had gone.

"Just back to California to visit old friends" Greg informed without going into specific detail.

Unusual that Greg had not divulged more details of his trip which Nick was aware of, he decided to bite the bullet and go straight to the point, "I thought I heard Sara on the phone when I called you. was I right? Did you go see Sara?" Nick asked.

Taking a deep breath, "I did yes." Greg spoke cautiously.

Greg watched as Catherine and Nick shared a look before the questioning began.

"It's a little bit sudden…you jetting off to see her when she's been gone for over a year." Catherine supplied before adding thoughtfully, "How is she?"

"Uhm, she's good" Greg said hesitantly.

"Is she coming out here to visit soon?" Nick asked optimistically.

"I don't know, a bit hard when Grissom sent her an email basically telling them not to speak to each other again." Greg provided.

"What?" Catherine spoke incredulously.

"Exactly." Greg nodded, sharing the disbelief with Catherine.

"Grissom can be socially retarded at the majority of times but there's no way he would be harsh with his words, that's more Sara's area of expertise." Catherine retorted.

"Cath, I saw the email with my own eyes, and the ones she sent him. It was really harsh and so not Grissom." Greg stated.

Pausing Nick spoke slowly as if still thinking while forming the words, "I suppose he has changed, he never comes out at all with us after work…maybe we don't know the real Grissom anymore."

"Heather." Catherine murmured.

"That's what I thought." Greg agreed.

Confusion marred Nick's face as he replied with an ineloquent "huh?" as a signal that he had lost the flow of the conversation.

"Lady Heather. Grissom. I followed him to her house….remember?" Catherine emphasised each word separately to give clarity for Nick.

"You think Lady Heather has changed Grissom's personality?" Nick spoke with disbelief.

"Or been speaking for him" Greg added.

The all shared a moment of silence in deep thought, realising the implications of what they had just suggested.

"Look, I don't really know what's happened between Sara and Grissom but I'm serious when I say they need to get back together or at least in touch. He is missing out on a life while he's moping around here."

"Greg, it may not be our place to do Sara's dirty work. Maybe Grissom is happy with Heather." Catherine had now voiced a contradictory stance to her opinions before.

"You think Grissom is happy?" Nick interrupted.

"No I don't, but I don't think we should be playing with his emotions…persuading him to go to Sara when he's had the chances before and not took them. He must have had a sensible reason why not to go." Catherine stated and took a triumphant sip of her coffee.

"Because he's been too scared, Heather's involved or for some other socially obtuse reason. It's gruesome Grissom here! The fact he was involved with a colleague showed how much he cared for her. And Sara doesn't know I'm telling you all this. She's trying to move on with her life but it's hard not because she still loves him but because she's got a constant reminder of him!" Greg ranted.

"Grissom!" Nick spoke allowed with a surprised tone to his voice.

At this, Greg turned around slowly and watched his supervisor enter the room with assignment slips in his hands.

"Nick, Catherine you both continue with your open cases, fill me in as you go along…Greg you're with me tonight, grab your kit." Grissom spoke without lifting his head from the sheet of paper in his hands, and after speaking walked out of the room and headed straight for his office.

His colleagues exchanged looks of guilt and confusion, unsure whether Grissom had truly heard their conversation or if he was just in a grouchy mood.

"Wish me luck" Greg said as he stood up from the table.

Catherine gave him a sympathetic look while Nick came round and patted his shoulder before leaving the break room to continue working on his solo case.

oOo

He had only caught the end of the conversation, but it was true, Greg had visited Sara.

Grissom had heard Greg explain that Sara still loved him, yet his conscience immediately disagreed with that stance. If she loved him, she wouldn't have left him or at the very least, would have understood why he was unable to leave Vegas. He had built himself a career there and had a home. And when she left, he didn't even have a home. Nothing had physically changed in the apartment they shared yet it was distinctly barren of noise, pleasure and love.

Ever since Nick had mentioned Greg visiting Sara, he couldn't get her off his mind. Which was odd, because she had finally become an absent thought thanks to help from Heather. At first, he had confided in her; she seemed to understand what Sara was feeling and what her intentions were when he was unable to. She gave him a new home, where he was able to sleep without the physical items of Sara or her scent still lingering to stir up his emotions. With Sara, he had found pleasure in other areas of life rather than his intellect, and Heather gave him the space to learn, albeit slowly, to achieve that enjoyment over chess or reading and other intellectually stimulating puzzles.

But now, after witnessing Greg discussing his private life, he was angry. Angry because Greg was in contact with Sara and he wasn't, and angry that she had obviously confided in him about their relationship and now he was sharing it…at work?

His mind then drifted to the phone call he had the day before. It was the first time he had heard Sara's voice since she had sent the email containing a pre-recorded video message.

He had tortured himself with the video message, playing it over and over again. Heather had voiced what he had feared; Sara considered their relationship over because he had not gone after her. While he was at work one day, Heather had removed the video off of his computer. At first he was angry, but then he realised she had helped him over the first and most difficult hurdle of grieving for his broken relationship.

The phone call however had come as a surprise; he was sitting in his mother's house having lunch when he had automatically answered without looking at the unknown caller ID. The way she said his name created a myriad of emotions and his heart had skipped a beat. He had spoken her name before he could stop himself, but it was too short lived. In the background of the phone call he could hear someone call out 'Sidle'. It was in a hospital or doctor's surgery and before he could even breathe, the call had ended. He was in too much of a shocked state to call her back, and he had ended his lunch with his mother to go back to the apartment he had shared with Sara for the first time in months. As he opened the door, his memories of the happiness and love he had been a part of surrounded him. His heart stung with grief and longing. He wished more than anything to be able to go back in time and stop her from leaving, to have caught Natalie before she had gotten Sara; to fix a lot of things.

He walked into the bedroom he had shared with Sara, their most intimate area. He loved the days where they had lounged all day on that bed; Hank at the end of the bed as they read to each other, or cuddled up as they watched a film. He climbed onto her side of the bed and kicked off his shoes. Lying back he let his thoughts go into overdrive.

He didn't know how to react to the call. He wanted to call her back, ask her why she had called him after all this time, and then of course his mind wandered to the background noise. Thoughts of her being sick with a terminal illness invaded his memory until his rational side took over. He could not make out the first name which was called except it ended in 'a', which although could mean Sara, it most realistically would have been her mother, Laura. Was Laura dying, and Sara having to deal with it alone? Why did Greg leave so suddenly?

He had spent his entire day yesterday with thoughts of Sara; memories of being with her before she had left, dreams of her being in distress at the present time without him and the thoughts of Greg being with her in San Francisco. Even after all of this, he was unable to call her back.

Working along with Greg just now in the present, the silence engulfing them he couldn't help that all his thoughts were of Sara; he was so desperate to know why Greg had suddenly visited her.

He wanted Greg to mention Sara, for him to talk about what he had done during his holidays, for Greg to be at ease to discuss Sara as he was with Nick and Catherine but it never came.

His frustration and anger towards his colleague grew, and he could not help but be short with him as he gave out orders. Shift couldn't finish quick enough and again, instead of going to Heather's house, he was drawn to his apartment he had shared with Sara. Lying in their bed, staring at the number which Sara had called him from, he was debating over whether or not to call her. He didn't know what to say, especially if his voice betrayed him. It was then he decided the safer option would be to text her.

* * *

><p>AN:

I am deeply sorry that this was not posted when I said. First of all, my flight was delayed a day, and then real life got in the way. Accident, illness and a sudden engagement within immediately family kind of stirs things up!

Additionally, I was conflicted over the way I had written this story. I have now cut out a chunk of angst, and hopefully you will prefer it to what I had originally planned. Instead of a full story written of more than twenty chapters, I now have four chapters in advanced written but it shouldn't be as long as the first one. This story will get finished, I promise, and things are speeding up! I hope you all have enjoyed this chapter; let me know what you all think. Next chapter will be posted a lot quicker than this one!


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

The next twenty four hours after her daughter's surgery, Sara had not left the hospital and very rarely moved from the chair beside Emma's bed. Frequently the door would open and a nurse or doctor would check up on the patient and administer medication. They would reassure Sara that her daughter was recovering well and yet they made no attempts to remove any tubes or wires surrounding Emma.

Feeling as if someone was watching her, Sara lifted her head from edge of Emma's mattress and faced the glass overlooking the corridor. Vicki was outside with her boyfriend Steve. Giving a quick glance back to Emma and then rubbing her hand in a comforting manner, Sara then made her way out of the ward room to greet her friends.

As soon as Sara entered the hallway, Vicki rushed forward to give her a tight squeeze and spoke desperately in Sara's ear, "How is she? Any change?"

Sara stood back and gave her shoulders a slight shrug as she replied, "Uh, no change but the doctors say that's a good sign. Hopefully they'll remove the breathing tube later on today…"

Vicki gave a tight smile as she reached out to rub Sara's forearm comfortingly, "That's great news. That must mean that there's no sign of infection… She's recovering as predicted! Before you know it she'll be climbing over that safety gate again."

Sara gave a small smile and nodded.

"I know we're not allowed in to see her but as soon as I saw this toy I couldn't resist." Steve gave a cheeky grin as he handed over a stuffed pink rabbit which had an arm in a fake plaster cast.

"Of course Jake was quick to point out Emma had a 'broken heart' not a broken arm…" added Vicki and giving an exaggerated eye roll.

"I'll never win that boy over…" Steve sighed half-heartedly while Vicki gave a playful nudge as spoke condescendingly "Oh my poor baby!"

Sara laughed while thanked Steve for thinking of her daughter.

"Anyway, we stopped by before we go out, to see if you need anything brought back?" Steve asked while linking hands with Vicki.

Before Sara could reply, Vicki added, "You know I'm more than willing to take over a night so you can go back to the house. Get a good night sleep and a relaxing bath."

Sara shook her head as Vicki spoke. "Thanks for the offer but no, I can't leave her…It wouldn't feel right."

"Ok, as long as you're sure." Vicki nodded with understanding.

"Positive. And anyway, the doctor should be round any moment to see if we are able to remove that breathing tube today so I don't want to miss anything."

"Yeah you're right. And once that tube is out the way she'll be waking up." Vicki spoke softly and smiled as she saw Sara's face light up.

"I truly hope so. I just need her to look at me and then everything will be okay." Sara murmured softly.

"Have you spoken to Greg?" Vicki asked.

"He sent me a text but I haven't replied yet. Why? Did he leave something at the house?" Sara questioned quickly.

"No no I was just making sure he got home safely." Vicki stuttered.

Sara knew there was more to Vicki asking about Greg than she led on, and her face displayed her puzzlement at the question posed. Additionally, Steve had frozen in discomfort which created an awkward silence. Breaking the stillness, he gave a soft cough and then stated;

"Uh, we better go, our reservation is-"

"Yeah, no worries. Enjoy! " Sara replied.

Vicki gave Sara a quick embrace as a goodbye while adding as she began to walk away; "If you need anything, just call, no matter what time it is! I'll be back tomorrow!"

Sara gave a small laugh and felt a contented warm wash over her at the thoughtfulness of her friend. Watching her disappear at the end of the corridor, Sara turned back to look into her daughter's room.

She exhaled loudly, gazing at her daughter lying on the bed. So many thoughts were going through her head, both positives and negatives that she nearly overlooked the twitching of her daughter's left leg.

Eyes wide, Sara stared until it happened again and rushed into her daughter's room. Quickly leaning over the bed and pressing the call button to alert the nurses, Sara squeezed her daughter's hand and spoke repeatedly,

"Emma, honey it's mommy here. You're okay…"

Unsure whether Emma could hear her or not, it didn't matter as the fact that she was moving, even so slightly, gave Sara a surge of energy and lowered her emotional turmoil.

"You pressed the call button?" A nurse asked as she opened the door, with another nurse behind her.

Sara switched her view of her daughter to that of the nurses, and quickly explained,

"Her leg is twitching. I think she's waking up."

The older nurse came over to observe Emma moving while asking the blonde nurse to go and get the doctor.

As the young nurse swiftly left the room, the other looked up from the opposite end of Emma's bed to smile at Sara; "I think someone is ready to get that breathing tube removed!"

Sara's eyes filled with tears contradicting the soft smile on her lips, emphasising her sheer sense of relief that flooded her.

She didn't have to wait long, and before she knew it, a doctor with two trainees came into the room and began to assess the situation.

Talking away in medical jargon, Sara instead focused on staring at her daughter and couldn't wait to see her brown eyes open and convey her being full of life.

Turning to face Sara, the doctor spoke with a smile on his face,

"You're right; she's beginning to wake up. Her tests are within the normal range and steadily improving from the surgery so I think she will cope fine without the endotracheal tube and respirator." He paused, "We will closely monitor her for any changes and we'll get an x-ray of her chest first thing in the morning, to make sure her chest is clear so we can remove the chest tube."

Sara just nodded her head and began to watch the doctors remove the tubes and then examine her daughter. The more Emma was being prodded, the more her body was twitching.

Suddenly, her brown eyes shot open, and she appeared wide awake.

Sara let out a gasp of delight and the doctors immediately began to check the patient's alertness. Emma's brows furrowed in annoyances and confusion at the strangers and began to search for her mother. Sara stood up from the chair beside the cot and leaned her face into Emma's view. Relief immediately flooded the little face and she tried to speak but her voice croaked. Sara immediately looked concerned yet was comforted by the doctor who explained;

"She just has a dry throat due to the surgery and tubes. Liz will you get her water?" The doctor spoke to the nurse who was exiting the room.

Sara ran her hands down the side of Emma's face, stroking her curly hair while speaking words of comfort to her in an aim to sooth the worry that appeared on her face.

Leaving the room the doctor spoke softly, "The medication and exertion of breathing herself will probably cause her to fall back asleep soon, but she's alert and recovering well. The nurses will check up on her regularly. Any other questions?"

Sara turned her head to thank the doctors who had now left the room while the nurse returned with water in a bottle for Emma.

The water soothed Emma's voice and although she never spoke, her demeanour became calm and she shortly fell asleep listening to the comforting words of Sara.

Staring at her daughter sleeping, Sara couldn't stop smiling; she was going to be okay. She relaxed back into the armchair she was sitting on and found herself falling asleep in an instant for the first time in days.

Waking up the next day to the nurses beginning their rounds, Sara remembered that her friends would want to know the good news, so she got her phone out of her pocket and was about to send out texts when she noticed she had a new message in her inbox.

The number was not saved to her phone so the sender's name did not appear at the top. Instead it was the phone number. A number she had memorised for years and had recently called. Her heart thumping, she quickly opened the message and she read the short yet strong message over and over again.

'_Sara, your call had me worried. I hope everything is ok. Please let me know, Grissom.'_

* * *

><p>AN:

So sorry for not updating sooner; really thought I had already posted this. RL is insanely busy, only reason I'm at home today is because cows have escaped from the field next to my house and I cannot get the car out. ARGHHH!

Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter, I don't know if you all are still reading… I have uploaded chapter 11 and 12 so it will be easier to update quickly. Take care xoxo


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

After staring at the message for many minutes, she was awoken out of the trance by a phone-call from Vicki. Ecstatic that Emma had woken up, Sara had forgotten about the text until the afternoon where she found herself struggling with what to reply back.

"_I know you told me you didn't want contact, but I had a moment of weakness. Everything is fine… sorry to bother you, Sara."_

Her fingers were conflicted over whether to send this message she had typed. She didn't know what to reply, or even if she should. Her foremost thought however was how glad she is that he had not been angry with her for making contact.

Just as she clicked to send the text, a group of doctors came into the room as they were doing their ward rounds. The sudden noise within the room woke Emma up from her drug induced slumber. Sara immediately noticed the worried demeanour of her daughter. Since wakening, and even under the medication, Sara had noticed her attitude to be more wary than before and asked the doctors if this was normal.

The female doctor, who introduced her name as Dr Hunter, explained that Emma is reacting as expected after surgery and this is a normal behaviour seen in children who had gone through a surgery.

"….separation anxiety is seen in the majority of cases and this is completely normal. Your child will slowly go back to normal once she is back in her routine."

Sara thanked the doctor for giving her positive feedback but she couldn't help but worry about the effects of this surgery could have on Emma's mental wellbeing.

Overall, the doctors were pleased with her recovery and explained what the next stages were.

"She has an x-ray scheduled in an hour, and if that proves that her chest is clear then we will look at removing the drainage tube and moving her out of the ICU ward." The same doctor who had removed her breathing tube spoke understandingly to Sara, and also added that Emma's specialist, Dr Chan would be round in the afternoon.

As they left the room, Sara thanked them once again for looking after Emma, and moved her eyes back to her daughter.

Emma had lifted her right hand which was near her mother and Sara knew that this was a signal that Emma wanted to be held by her mother. Knowing she was unable to lift her, Sara instead pulled the barrier around the side of the cot down and lay her head on the pillow next to Emma in order to get as close as possible. Emma stared intently into Sara's eyes and listened to every comforting word that came from Sara until her eyes closed and they both fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Shortly after sending the text to Sara, Grissom began to panic. He couldn't believe he had taken the bold move to start a conversation, which he was unable to do when she had sent him video message eighteen months earlier. Intrigued by her sudden and short phone call was combined with the jealousy of Greg's visit and contact with Sara. This had stirred him to seek her attention again. An hour had past, and he hadn't gone more than two minutes without constantly checking his phone for any updates. Realising the obsession, he decided to turn his phone off to try and get some sleep.<p>

His sleep was plagued by his thoughts and he didn't get more than three hours before he made the decision to just get up and go into work early.

After showering and dressing for work, he decided to check his phone and his heart skipped a beat when he noticed a reply.

"_I know you told me you didn't want contact, but I had a moment of weakness. Everything is fine… sorry to bother you, Sara."_

He read it over quickly in a rush, and then as the confusion washed over him he read it slowly and finally word for word in attempt to understand what was going on.

I told her I didn't want contact?

Was this what Heather meant by the fact I hadn't replied to her was giving her an answer?

His brows furrowed. He didn't like it if Sara had assumed his none reply as meaning this and then using it as an attack.

Surely they could be civilised if they were unable to be involved together. He still cared about her, so much, yet he felt so betrayed that he wasn't enough for her and she left him. Does she even remember that they were engaged? That she was his fiancée?

His anguish at the situation was interrupted as he heard his name being called from the living area.

"Gil, are you here?" Heather spoke urgently.

Before Grissom has a chance to reply, Heather opened the door to his bedroom and walked in.

"Gil, I was worried when you didn't come home last night-"

"This is my apartment Heather" Gil replied with one eyebrow raised.

Heather noticing a difference in Grissom since the last time she saw him and took a few steps towards him while replying slowly, "Are you feeling okay? You look uneasy"

Grissom knew she could feel the tension radiating from his body. Although earlier it was caused by the text message, it was now due to that Heather was in his bedroom; the bedroom that held so many fond and private memories of his relationship with Sara.

Quickly, he guided Heather out of the room and into the kitchen.

"Why are you here Heather?" Grissom asked again.

"You didn't come home, I was worried."

Grissom looked deflated, "I'm sorry". He paused before adding "This is my home Heather."

"Hank has been whining around the house looking for you. I wouldn't have thought that you would leave Hank at mine if you were moving back into your apartment."

"I'm sorry." Grissom repeated and looked apologetic. "I have just been distracted recently."

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Heather walked over to the large pile of letters that were building up on the table. "You should open these letters you know."

"I know, while staying at yours I forgot the important things I had to do here."

"It was necessary to stay away from here…to move on from Sara; which you have done remarkably well. I'm very proud." Heather leaned over to rub his forearm.

At the mention of Sara the sadness washed over his face and he moved to begin to look through the letters and pick out junk mail to be put in the trash.

Heather noticing this defence technique questioned intensively, "Has Sara been in contact Gil? Is this why you have been distant?"

Gil however was took intent on the letter in front of him. The date stated it was sent a month ago and it was from California. Quickly tearing apart the envelope and scanning the letter, he was shocked at the coincidence.

"Gil?" Heather asked impatiently.

The letter was from the Forensic Academy Association inviting him to participate as a guest speaker promoting entomology within forensics at a four day conference in San Francisco.

It was the same conference he had met Sara at all those years ago.

Realising the letter was sent a month ago and the conference was to be held in two weeks' time he began to panic. He had to go to this conference. He quickly reached for his home phone and began to dial the number provided.

"Gil?" Heather demanded again as she watched his frantic movements.

While the phone was ringing, Gil spoke "I've been asked to do a lecture in a couple of weeks at forensic conference."

Realising this was about work, Heather nodded and moved round to his kitchen appliances and turned on the kettle.

Gil had walked back into his bedroom, and while Heather was alone, she waited on the kettle boiling before pouring out two cups of tea and sitting them at the breakfast table. A few minutes later Grissom walked back into the kitchen area with a smile on his face.

"I take it you received welcomed news?" Heather added before taking a sip of her tea.

Grissom walked over to the empty chair and sat down. "Yes. Although I have replied later than they hoped, they have been able to provide two one hour slots for me to speak in two weeks' time."

"And where is this conference?"

Grissom took a large gulp of tea and murmured from the edge of the cup, "San Francisco."

"Where Sara is?" Heather looked surprised.

Grissom just nodded.

Heather looked alarmed. "Gil, it took you a long time to finally recover from Sara's rejection. Going back to the place where there are memories of her may hinder your emotional state…"

"Heather. I am a grown man; I am capable of distinguishing between what is good or not for me."

"Sara has been back on your thoughts again hasn't she?"

At this, Grissom just stayed silent and took another sip of his drink.

"Gil, she sent you a video message explaining how she considered you both to be finished and that she was moving on. She will just hurt you again."

Grissom considered Heather's words. It is true that he deciphered this from her video message but he was too conflicted over what he had overheard Greg saying and also the text message. It was if he was so in tune with Sara that he knew something was bothering her and he had to help. Furthermore, he knew that he still loved Sara, even though she had hurt him. And just hearing her say his name again awakened him to the realisation of how much he missed her presence.

He took a deep sigh before relaying what has been on his mind. He trusted Heather and knew she would give him support like he had done for her. "Greg suddenly took a few days off his work, called in a family emergency. I then find out he went to see Sara. During that time she called me briefly, but hung up after saying my name. I sent her a message asking if everything was alright last night and she replied but what she wrote is puzzling me."

Grissom reached for his mobile phone which was sitting on the counter. He opened his inbox and passed the phone to Heather to allow her to read it.

"_I know you told me you didn't want contact, but I had a moment of weakness. Everything is fine… sorry to bother you, Sara."_

"You said not making a decision is making a decision. And I understand that. But I do not think Sara would assume that no contact meant that I didn't want contact. I can't make sense of it."

Heather took a few moments before replying. "Gil. I think you should lose all contact with Sara. This isn't good for you. You weren't lonely with me and you know that I will not leave…." A sudden anger appeared over her face yet quickly disappeared as she took a deep breath and added, "I have to go. If you are planning on staying here, please remember that you have left things behind at my house."

Grissom sat in silence. He didn't know what to say to make her realise how he feels. "Heather you have been a great friend to me-"

The ringing of his cell phone interrupted his words. Heather looked back at him from the door, and watched as he answered the call.

Knowing it was a work related call; Heather looked sadly back at the apartment and closed the door.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

I hope everyone enjoyed the CSI premiere on Wednesday, I know I did. Let me know what you think of this chapter...as you can probably tell it isn't long until Grissom finds out! x

Oh, PS, I had a problem with the formatting while uploading this chapter so I apologise in advance for any errors.


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